What people say about my work as a Transitions Mentor:
Benn and I worked on a regular programme of talk-based therapy, starting on a weekly basis and slowly shifting over the course of a year to monthly meetings, reflecting the progress over that period.
Benn gave me a much-needed opportunity to discuss the many issues that I had in a supportive, non-judgemental environment, often drawing on his own personal experiences to reassure me. He kept detailed notes, which enabled him to track my development and give me a greater understanding of myself. While Benn always stressed that any improvements were down to my own efforts, his practical suggestions gave me a framework with which to challenge my everyday thinking in between sessions, which proved invaluable in the long-term.
I have become a much more confident person over the course of a year, simultaneously able to both imagine a better future whilst also being much better equipped to handle times of stress. There has a been a significant shift in my personality, as I have become much more positive overall.
I know Benn in his professional capacity as a Transformations Mentor.
He supported and helped me during a time of great personal distress and grief. This grief meant my emotions were impaired and my focus was one of sadness and pain. Benn supported me face to face, by telephone and email. He was caring and supportive and helped me regain my sense of dignity and purpose. In the words of the Buddhist masters he reminded me “this too shall pass”.
The difference this has made is beyond measure, because I was able to help myself (with Benn’s wisdom and guidance), to know and heal myself.
My recommendation to anyone who needs support and wisdom in their personal lives and in order to keep on track professionally, talk to Benn.
We talked through my issues with my family, how to create a smooth transition whereby I can lead a healthy autonomous life without feeling like I disconnect completely from my family and my role.
I was given practical strategies to try when faced with too much anxiety. I was also provided with book and website recommendations for further reading.
I felt there were good points that helped me understand my transitional phase.
The sessions helped me understand that at times where there is a transition in our lives, it is important to take some time to reflect and think about goals. I am glad that I invested in myself for that period of time as I felt it made me stronger because I was investing in my emotional wellbeing and therefore paying personal attention to my psychosocial development.
I have benefited a lot from the help provided by Benn Abdy-Collins as Transition Mentor.
The format of the sessions offers both personal reflective time and conversational support in a well balanced manner. It allowed me to look at a situation from a perspective that I hadn’t considered before and this constituted the starting point for a real movement forward in my life. I felt stuck in my self development and now, I experience a renewed sense of flow and positivity. I would recommend this approach to anyone in need of a shift in their life.
I have known Benn for quite a few years now, and the recent journey undertaken with him as mentor was a new venture for us, and yet a confirmation of what I already knew about him.
It is going to be difficult to select what is relevant – Benn has wit, knowledge, emotional intelligence and empathy, and all of Benn’s being, life experience, values is shared when he becomes your mentor. Generosity is a key quality. And his generosity, in turn , is the offspring of Love – the driving force which I believe must have guided Benn towards choosing this role: what else can be the motivation for lending a hand to those in despair and helping them remove bleakness layer by layer, until the purity of one’s soul can shine again. And what better reason can there be for choosing a mentor, if not knowing that he loves you already; he will not be distracted and corrupted in his Love by the darkness that envelopes you: like a parent, he will keep his eye and his heart on the Good of your soul, and he will help you embrace your true self, and never let go.
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Transitions include the pain, grief and confusion of a lost relationship, a lost known, a death; facing your own vulnerability and so much more.
You have resources and resilience to deal with these issues, though they need marshalling to get you through.
Choose a service that enables you to dip into and deal with your life changes, transitions, bereavements, turmoils and confusions. Do this and you’ll attain incredibly powerful results and clarity click here
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By midlife, you’re expected to have the answers to everything life throws your way. However, your emotions, your sense of sanity and your ability to cope are hindered by your losses and heartbreaks.
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You choose the options for your needs: herbal medicine, personalised mentoring and care to explore and find your own sense of well-being click here
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Each experience of end of life is totally individual, independent and unique. For those hale in mind, yet frail of body, this can provide an ideal opportunity to celebrate with your loved ones. To lift a glass and to laugh, cry, reminisce, touch, hug, to have one last dance.
Living funerals or “awake wakes” are special, well-held spaces for you to be in the company of friends and family, making memories; sharing love and remembering the beauty of life, even as life is fading. You celebrate your life together unrestricted by chapel times and death getting in the way click here
Dealing with Death
The one thing we know for sure at death is that the person we knew is no more. And, it’s losing that personality that makes for such a difficult time. We can no longer love them the way we did; their hands are cold, their heart no longer beats. There is silence where once there was vibrant energy.
With death comes taboos – don’t discuss it; it may be contagious; ignore it; fear it; don’t acknowledge it, that way death can’t overwhelm you.
The old customs encourage not talking about the painful, frightening things of life, and there are no rules of how you “should” deal with your feelings and pain, though many people may tell you how to, ought or should fix your mind, thoughts and feelings.
How would you like to feel? Liberated, released from the darkness of the pain?
Regain perspective of your life by airing what you’re thinking and feeling with a person detached from the rest of your world. From this, you can release emotions bottled up, whilst you feel cared and safe. Click here
Death has many, often sombre, formalised rituals and traditions that don’t suit everyone. The landscape of funerals is moving towards personalised services the life of the person who has died, and the needs of the people saying goodbye to them.
Modern choices include rituals that are either secular or non-religious, some with spirituality included, some no elements of spirituality or religion at all.
You may need a completely different experience from the established way of doing a funeral. If that is true, create and design a funeral you’ll cherish and value; work with a professional and get just what you need click here
Grief & Bereavement
How you deal with grief and bereavement is very individual. They in your life whenever any loss happens, not just because of death e.g. at the end of a friendship, relationship; a career or job role; retirement; moving home; a health crisis, to name a few.
One description of grief is “heartbreak”, an experience of devastating, one that can influence a lifetime, to become so ingrained it’s invisible.
How you respond to these knocks of life and death depends on your resilience and perspective.
When you gain a fresh perspective, you arrive at a place you can deal with something that traps you, is released. Click here