What people say about my work as a Transitions Mentor:
Thank you so much for all your fantastic support and keeping my spirits positive throughout 2019.
You have been truly awesome and I am so very grateful for all that you do.
With big appreciation,
I have benefited a lot from the help provided by Benn Abdy-Collins as Transition Mentor.
The format of the sessions offers both personal reflective time and conversational support in a well balanced manner. It allowed me to look at a situation from a perspective that I hadn’t considered before and this constituted the starting point for a real movement forward in my life. I felt stuck in my self development and now, I experience a renewed sense of flow and positivity. I would recommend this approach to anyone in need of a shift in their life.
Benn and I worked on a regular programme of talk-based therapy, starting on a weekly basis and slowly shifting over the course of a year to monthly meetings, reflecting the progress over that period.
Benn gave me a much-needed opportunity to discuss the many issues that I had in a supportive, non-judgemental environment, often drawing on his own personal experiences to reassure me. He kept detailed notes, which enabled him to track my development and give me a greater understanding of myself. While Benn always stressed that any improvements were down to my own efforts, his practical suggestions gave me a framework with which to challenge my everyday thinking in between sessions, which proved invaluable in the long-term.
I have become a much more confident person over the course of a year, simultaneously able to both imagine a better future whilst also being much better equipped to handle times of stress. There has a been a significant shift in my personality, as I have become much more positive overall.
We talked through my issues with my family, how to create a smooth transition whereby I can lead a healthy autonomous life without feeling like I disconnect completely from my family and my role.
I was given practical strategies to try when faced with too much anxiety. I was also provided with book and website recommendations for further reading.
I felt there were good points that helped me understand my transitional phase.
The sessions helped me understand that at times where there is a transition in our lives, it is important to take some time to reflect and think about goals. I am glad that I invested in myself for that period of time as I felt it made me stronger because I was investing in my emotional wellbeing and therefore paying personal attention to my psychosocial development.
I know Benn in his professional capacity as a Transformations Mentor.
He supported and helped me during a time of great personal distress and grief. This grief meant my emotions were impaired and my focus was one of sadness and pain. Benn supported me face to face, by telephone and email. He was caring and supportive and helped me regain my sense of dignity and purpose. In the words of the Buddhist masters he reminded me “this too shall pass”.
The difference this has made is beyond measure, because I was able to help myself (with Benn’s wisdom and guidance), to know and heal myself.
My recommendation to anyone who needs support and wisdom in their personal lives and in order to keep on track professionally, talk to Benn.
I have known Benn for quite a few years now, and the recent journey undertaken with him as mentor was a new venture for us, and yet a confirmation of what I already knew about him.
It is going to be difficult to select what is relevant – Benn has wit, knowledge, emotional intelligence and empathy, and all of Benn’s being, life experience, values is shared when he becomes your mentor. Generosity is a key quality. And his generosity, in turn , is the offspring of Love – the driving force which I believe must have guided Benn towards choosing this role: what else can be the motivation for lending a hand to those in despair and helping them remove bleakness layer by layer, until the purity of one’s soul can shine again. And what better reason can there be for choosing a mentor, if not knowing that he loves you already; he will not be distracted and corrupted in his Love by the darkness that envelopes you: like a parent, he will keep his eye and his heart on the Good of your soul, and he will help you embrace your true self, and never let go.
Want to know more about something? Please connect!
Within you, you have remarkable resources to deal with any time of transition (change or loss) that affects your life.
You just need to [re-]find these resources.
Potential solution: Choose a service that enables you to deal with both the acute/current problem – a transition, loss, bereavement – and empowers you towards your own independence towards the future.
Do this and you’ll attain incredibly powerful results and clarity. Click here for more information.
Being 35 – 65 [in midlife] is a potent time of challenge when you become increasingly aware of mortality and death – of parents, of family – even your own… Parents age, children grow, things change and life demands so much…
Everything gathered together makes coping impossible as heartbreaks, sanity and conflicting emotions struggle to deal with such demands. And you feel a sense of loss of self; even traumatised.
Potential solution: Choose a holistic Midlifer Life-Changing bespoke service that’s, personalised to you and your needs.
Options include: herbal medicine, personalised mentoring and care to explore and find your own sense of well-being. Click here for more information.
End of Life & Living Funerals
Each individual is unique and deserves their opportunity to celebrate their life whilst hale of mind, if not hale in body. To lift a glass with loved ones, to smile, to touch, to hug, to have one last dance. To laugh; to cry.
Potential solution: Living funerals or “awake wakes” are special, well-held spaces for one at end of life to say their farewells in person. For family and friends to make memories; share love; to remember the beauty of life, even as life is fading.
You get to celebrate your life together unrestricted by chapel times and death getting in the way. Click here for more information.
Dealing with Death
At death, the person we knew is no more. Losing their personality changes everything and forms much of the grief you may face – you may longer hold them, care for them, or experience their presence for they are silent. But your love is not.
Cultural beliefs may include don’t discuss “it” for it may be contagious; ignore it; fear it; don’t acknowledge it. If you follow these ideas, then death can’t overwhelm you…
These old customs encourage keeping silent about the painful, frightening things of life. Whilst no one may listen to how you feel, they will tell you should deal with your emotions, to fix your mind, thoughts and feelings. Question is: how would you like to feel?
Potential solution: When you choose to release bottled up emotions without judgement, you’ll feel cared for and released from the darkness of pain.
This can be achieved by regaining perspective of your life through airing what you’re thinking and feeling about your grief. With a person detached from the rest of your world in a safe, confidential environment. Click here for more information.
There are many ways to design or host a funeral. For some people, tradition is essential; for others, a service without the sombre, formalised rituals suits them as a preference.
Many modern funerals are personalised with a blend of tradition with modern ritual that fits the one who has died, and their family. Whether this is religious, secular, with or without spirituality.
Potential solution: You require a completely different way of doing a funeral. One that encompasses the one who has died; their and your beliefs and rituals; one that fulfils your needs as you say farewell in whatever way works for you. For you have designed and created a funeral you’ll cherish and value by working with a professional. Click here for more information.
Grief & Bereavement
Grief – the experience of loss and how you deal with it – is very individual to you.
Loss comes in many forms; the end of a life, the end of a relationship, the end of a role at work, significant life changes such as moving home or a health crisis…
One description of grief is “heartbreak”, a devastation that may influence an entire life, to be invisibly ingrained with far-reaching effects.
How you respond to these knocks and heartbreaks depends upon your resilience and perspective.
Potential solution: When you gain a fresh perspective, you arrive at a place you can deal with something that [invisibly] traps you. On release, you can regain your inner strength to face life. Click here for more information.