About Benn Abdy-Collins
Bridging the GapBased in Greenford, Middlesex, West London
As a Professional Medical Herbalist (1993), and Funeral Celebrant (2017), I specialise in empowering people through times of Transition and change.
The question is why? Why do I do what I do and how will that make a difference to you?
I have faced many times of distress, grief, upset and confusion in my life. My experiences and understanding give depth to the work I do. I’d never have chosen these trials and tribulations, BUT they empower me empathise with what other people go through and face.
Ultimately, there are no answers to life. There is common sense and there are perspectives we can take to deal with the lives we live. That’s what I am here for.
Key Facts About Benn
- By 40 I had lived at 41 different postal addresses, attended 13 different schools and colleges (including school in Nigeria)
- My Mum died when I was 40; I felt the last pulses of her heart, closed her eyes and helped lay out her body
- I have facilitated many workshops, retreats and seminars on well being, on values and on communication skills based on deep listening, over many years. And I speak professionally on death, transitions with stories and humour.
A Poem
When my Mum was diagnosed with secondary cancer, I was inspired to write a poem. I read the poem during her funeral and at the celebration of her life. The same poem has been read during other funerals.
In My Passing
I’m free now, relieved
Cherish my freedom and celebrate
My passing; allow my journey to
Continue without any extra weight.
Always remember, we have shared
Our lives, our times, together.
Not all times were easy
Nor our beliefs and choices the same,
When our souls were bared.
If ever I have left you
Feeling afraid and alone,
Forgive me. I ask.
Are we ever ready
For the living task?
Please do not grieve for me
For in my going, my suffering has gone.
With the pain and crying
Release from dying has come along.
I dance now in a better place;
May you dance now too and
Remember I love you;
Live and enjoy your unique grace.
Want to know more about something? Please connect!
What Would YOU Like to Explore?
Transitions Mentoring
Within you, you have remarkable resources to deal with any time of transition (change or loss) that affects your life.
You just need to [re-]find these resources.
Potential solution: Choose a service that enables you to deal with both the acute/current problem – a transition, loss, bereavement – and empowers you towards your own independence towards the future.
Do this and you’ll attain incredibly powerful results and clarity. Click here for more information.
Midlife
Being 35 – 65 [in midlife] is a potent time of challenge when you become increasingly aware of mortality and death – of parents, of family – even your own… Parents age, children grow, things change and life demands so much…
Everything gathered together makes coping impossible as heartbreaks, sanity and conflicting emotions struggle to deal with such demands. And you feel a sense of loss of self; even traumatised.
Potential solution: Choose a holistic Midlifer Life-Changing bespoke service that’s, personalised to you and your needs.
Options include: herbal medicine, personalised mentoring and care to explore and find your own sense of well-being. Click here for more information.
End of Life & Living Funerals
Each individual is unique and deserves their opportunity to celebrate their life whilst hale of mind, if not hale in body. To lift a glass with loved ones, to smile, to touch, to hug, to have one last dance. To laugh; to cry.
Potential solution: Living funerals or “awake wakes” are special, well-held spaces for one at end of life to say their farewells in person. For family and friends to make memories; share love; to remember the beauty of life, even as life is fading.
You get to celebrate your life together unrestricted by chapel times and death getting in the way. Click here for more information.
Dealing with Death
At death, the person we knew is no more. Losing their personality changes everything and forms much of the grief you may face – you may longer hold them, care for them, or experience their presence for they are silent. But your love is not.
Cultural beliefs may include don’t discuss “it” for it may be contagious; ignore it; fear it; don’t acknowledge it. If you follow these ideas, then death can’t overwhelm you…
These old customs encourage keeping silent about the painful, frightening things of life. Whilst no one may listen to how you feel, they will tell you should deal with your emotions, to fix your mind, thoughts and feelings. Question is: how would you like to feel?
Potential solution: When you choose to release bottled up emotions without judgement, you’ll feel cared for and released from the darkness of pain.
This can be achieved by regaining perspective of your life through airing what you’re thinking and feeling about your grief. With a person detached from the rest of your world in a safe, confidential environment. Click here for more information.
Funerals
There are many ways to design or host a funeral. For some people, tradition is essential; for others, a service without the sombre, formalised rituals suits them as a preference.
Many modern funerals are personalised with a blend of tradition with modern ritual that fits the one who has died, and their family. Whether this is religious, secular, with or without spirituality.
Potential solution: You require a completely different way of doing a funeral. One that encompasses the one who has died; their and your beliefs and rituals; one that fulfils your needs as you say farewell in whatever way works for you. For you have designed and created a funeral you’ll cherish and value by working with a professional. Click here for more information.
Grief & Bereavement
Grief – the experience of loss and how you deal with it – is very individual to you.
Loss comes in many forms; the end of a life, the end of a relationship, the end of a role at work, significant life changes such as moving home or a health crisis…
One description of grief is “heartbreak”, a devastation that may influence an entire life, to be invisibly ingrained with far-reaching effects.
How you respond to these knocks and heartbreaks depends upon your resilience and perspective.
Potential solution: When you gain a fresh perspective, you arrive at a place you can deal with something that [invisibly] traps you. On release, you can regain your inner strength to face life. Click here for more information.