Dealing with Dying, Death, Bereavement and Funerals

Dying & Death

Facing Dying, Death and Funerals

Dying, death, bereavement and funerals will crash into your busy life uninvited, and unwanted. And, having to face any form of dying or death, can be catastrophic.

Each adds pressure, steals time, makes demands and requires attention, when you’re not available because you’re upset, distraught and stretched by circumstances. And, yet, you have to deal with their requirements, their effects and the torments and frustrations they bring.

What’s more, you have to do this whilst also trying to deal with those around you face of the avalanche of what needs doing –

practical stuff, emotional reactions, and (if you believe) dealing with spiritual concerns. And, not forgetting – managing family political, financial and legal matters, too.

However, there are ways to deal with item; it all starts with you feeling more empowered to cope with them, through understanding what requires your attention and your actions. I’m currently writing a book about how to do just that; my blog has some of my book’s content in it.

Dealing with the practicalities at the time of dying, or after death:

  • Physical –
    • if it’s dealing with dying – how to provide all the support – food, care, love, time, resources, timetables, transport, shopping, attention, to name but a few
    • if it’s after death – who to contact, what services are required, deciding on the funeral, who to tell – when and how, finding all the paperwork; allocating tasks etc.
  • Emotional –
    • if it’s dealing with dying – handling the emotions of the person facing their mortality; handling your own emotions and those you care for; dealing with extended family, parents, siblings and others affecting by circumstances
    • if it’s after death – there’s your own grief, shock and mourning and that of all those around you, people who you care for and look after; it’s often a huge burden, particularly if you care for others, e.g. as a mother
  • Spiritual – (if you believe in it) –
    • if it’s dealing with dying – you have potential dilemmas here – your own spiritual beliefs, those of the person who is dying and those of your family and community, and they may not all be the same; these can prove to be times of existential crisis
    • if it’s after death – much like for the time of dying, but with the rawness of loss and grief, these spiritual and/or religious requirements can bring all sorts of conflict to the situation
  • Financial –
    • if it’s dealing with dying – how to manage all the daily costs and care packages that need paying for; specialist transport; meals, bills, organising finances to deal with both the day-to-day and the long-term requirements; preparing for the end, funeral expenses and legal costs etc.
    • if it’s after death – making sure money is available to cover the necessary and if not, how to manage what’s needed
  • Legal –
    • if it’s dealing with dying – fulfilling what the dying person’s requests; ensuring the will is up to date; transferring or managing property or family assets etc.
    • if it’s after death – certificate of death; coroner’s court, if required; probate; management of the estate; completing bequests; contacting banks, financial institutions, cancelling subscriptions… and all the other multitude of legal matters to tie-up someone’s life.

…enough to make your head spin! A caring supportive, practical, well-held, third-party viewpoint can prove invaluable to keep you on track throughout the process.

Consider Making Use of a Professional:

Any area of life has people available to help you along the path you have to deal with. End of life services when dying, dealing with death, funerals, grief & bereavement, and funerals, is no different.

The advantages:

  • you’ll have someone used to what you face
  • you’ll have someone used to dealing with the concerns you have and access to the resources you require
  • you’ll have someone outside the turmoil(s) you face, able to overview the circumstances, whilst providing support, care and advice to deal with the issues
  • you’ll have someone able to hold the space and help you through, which can prove invaluable!

Let Me Introduce Myself and My Work

I am a fully-trained, qualified and insured Independent Funeral Celebrant who has  completed my level three OCN verified, nationally recognised diploma with Green fuse

My work is specialised non-denominational funerals, dealing with the living funerals dying people require, death and bereavement, and supporting people through the complexities associated with these matters, in a caring, considered manner.

Our diploma is assessed on a pass or fail basis, but if we had gradings Benn would certainly have achieved a distinction. His work was excellent throughout, showing great thoroughness and sensitivity. He has a deep understanding of what makes a funeral successful. The funerals he has written were well structured, thoughtful and moving. This is a challenging training requiring a great deal of work, which Benn has been determined to complete. I don’t hesitate to recommend him. - Simon Smith, Director of Green Fuse

Want to know more about something? Please connect!

What Would You Like to Know About?

Transitions Mentoring

Transitions include the pain, grief and confusion of a lost relationship, a lost known, a death; facing your own vulnerability and so much more.

You have resources and resilience to deal with these issues, though they need marshalling to get you through.

A Solution:

Choose a service that enables you to dip into and deal with your life changes, transitions, bereavements, turmoils and confusions. Do this and you’ll attain incredibly powerful results and clarity click here

Midlife

Midlife, from 35 – 65, is a pincer time. You become aware of your aging and mortality; and the complexities of aging parents, children, relationships and dying, death and grief.

By midlife, you’re expected to have the answers to everything life throws your way. However, your emotions, your sense of sanity and your ability to cope are hindered by your losses and heartbreaks.

A Solution:

Holistic Midlifer Life-Changing Packages are bespoke services, personalised to you and your needs.
You choose the options for your needs: herbal medicine, personalised mentoring and care to explore and find your own sense of well-being click here

End of Life & Living Funerals

Each experience of end of life is totally individual, independent and unique. For those hale in mind, yet frail of body, this can provide an ideal opportunity to celebrate with your loved ones. To lift a glass and to laugh, cry, reminisce, touch, hug, to have one last dance.

A Solution:

Living funerals or “awake wakes” are special, well-held spaces for you to be in the company of friends and family, making memories; sharing love and remembering the beauty of life, even as life is fading. You celebrate your life together unrestricted by chapel times and death getting in the way click here

Dealing with Death

The one thing we know for sure at death is that the person we knew is no more. And, it’s losing that personality that makes for such a difficult time. We can no longer love them the way we did; their hands are cold, their heart no longer beats. There is silence where once there was vibrant energy.

With death comes taboos – don’t discuss it; it may be contagious; ignore it; fear it; don’t acknowledge it, that way death can’t overwhelm you.

The old customs encourage not talking about the painful, frightening things of life, and there are no rules of how you “should” deal with your feelings and pain, though many people may tell you how to, ought or should fix your mind, thoughts and feelings.

How would you like to feel? Liberated, released from the darkness of the pain?

A Solution:
Regain perspective of your life by airing what you’re thinking and feeling with a person detached from the rest of your world. From this, you can release emotions bottled up, whilst you feel cared and safe. Click here

Funerals

Death has many, often sombre, formalised rituals and traditions that don’t suit everyone. The landscape of funerals is moving towards personalised services the life of the person who has died, and the needs of the people saying goodbye to them.

Modern choices include rituals that are either secular or non-religious, some with spirituality included, some no elements of spirituality or religion at all.

A Solution:

You may need a completely different experience from the established way of doing a funeral. If that is true, create and design a funeral you’ll cherish and value; work with a professional and get just what you need click here

Grief & Bereavement

How you deal with grief and bereavement is very individual. They in your life whenever any loss happens, not just because of death e.g. at the end of a friendship, relationship; a career or job role; retirement; moving home; a health crisis, to name a few.

One description of grief is “heartbreak”, an experience of devastating, one that can influence a lifetime, to become so ingrained it’s invisible.

How you respond to these knocks of life and death depends on your resilience and perspective.

A Solution:
When you gain a fresh perspective, you arrive at a place you can deal with something that traps you, is released. Click here

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