Discover how a Funeral I prepare for You will be...

"Just what You Need"

Funeral Ceremonies to Reflect the Beauty of Life

Many people are now unaffiliated to a particular religion but want to express their own unique beliefs during a funeral ceremony. To manage this, together, we will co-create a service that is moving, memorable, and something you will always cherish:

  • By carefully listening to you as a family, gathering all the details about your Loved One, who they were, about their life, the stories to be told, and the service details required
  • I will then design a funeral that authentically celebrates your Loved One’s life
  • Once we have agreed on the service style together, I will then conduct the ceremony on your behalf.

My work is about inspiring and encouraging you to decide and design the best funeral possible through support, warmth and kindness, at a most difficult time. Green fuse Funeral Celebrancy is about building a funeral service with you to celebrate your Loved One’s life, and to say goodbye. The Green fuse special “S” shaped funeral will share a well-told story, tribute or eulogy with readings, poems, music, and close with carefully chosen words, and so be the unique, moving service you require. As a Medical Herbalist and Transitions Mentor, I bring years of experience of dealing with Life’s significant times of change to Funeral Celebrancy.

Introduction to Me, My Work and What YOU Get

I am Benn Abdy-Collins, a specially-trained Independent Funeral Celebrant, Green fuse. My work is about inspiring and encouraging you, as a family – at a most difficult time​ – to decide and design the best funeral possible through support, warmth and kindness.​​ Each service is freshly created and unique to the person who’s life we will celebrate together.

What I Bring to Funerals

My work as a funeral celebrant is underpinned by almost 25 years’ experience of being a professional herbalist, and years of mentoring people through times of transition, trouble and change, and bereavement. I believe we all deserve a good send-off. As a professional speaker and writer, I craft funeral services with care, consideration, attention to details and a good dollop of Love, regard and respect. In times of loss, grief and crisis, I hold the space for people to feel their feelings and to witness the moving of time through ceremony, ritual and a structure to release their Loved One and to see the future ahead.

The Unique Green fuse-styled Funeral Service I Deliver

The Process:

  • I carefully listen to you, the family, to gather all the details about your Loved One – who they were, their life, the stories to be told, and the service details required
  • I then design and write a funeral that authentically celebrates your Loved One’s life and agree the service style and content with you
  • I then conduct the ceremony on your behalf.

The Structure:

The Green fuse “S” shaped funeral allows you, the mourners, to celebrate your Loved One’s life, and to say a final goodbye, with a real emphasis on life after the goodbye. The service concentrates on the needs of the living and provides a memorable moment at a time filled with grief, sadness and deep change. Below are the details:

Opening – welcome, introduce the service, the one who has died and the family and BA-C

Words on Life and Death – talking about death from the perspective of the one who has died

Eulogy – a circa 1,200 word tribute with stories and anecdotes, legacies and achievements

Committal – the final goodbye, whether a cremation or burial

Closing Words – final messages for close family – focussing on the legacy, the future and reminders of the person who’s life is being celebrated. Rituals, poems, readings, prayers, music, singing, silence, tributes, as required and / or requested by the family, complete  the service.

What YOU Get

  • A committed, professional service that at all times follows utmost discretion where every family relationship I work with is accorded absolute confidentiality. All notes and private family details are shredded once I have finished working with you
  • A face-to-face family visit at your home for a minimum of 90 minutes, usually longer
  • Liaison by telephone with other family members to get their input into the eulogy
  • Establishing and agreeing the ceremony tone that you as a family require, including how much religion (or not)  you wish for
  • Helping you to choose poetry and music, if necessary from a broad anthology
  • Creating the Order of Service running order
  • Writing the service – each and every ceremony is written ​afresh and tailored to the wishes of you, the family– I do not use a “set script” – this involves:
    1. writing the eulogy (circa 2-3 hours)
    2. checking with you and editing accordingly
    3. double-checking correct pronunciations, names, places, dates, facts and family relationships
  • ​Ensuring a diplomatic and sensitive handling of sibling / family rivalry – often editing the ceremony and eulogy for two  different people and working to get agreement on a final version
  • Answering any calls or emails from you, usually within 2 hours, 7 days a week
  • Rehearsing the entire ceremony and any poetry at least twice to ensure a good delivery
  • Carefully timing ceremony, including length of each piece of music and dealing with unscheduled events, adjusting the service to ensure time-keeping
  • Arriving at the venue 30 minutes before the ceremony to personally greet you as you arrive
  • I will liaise with family or friends who are doing readings – speaking to them on the phone, to reassure them/or coach them and checking-in before the service – replacing them if they feel unable to deliver as I’ll always carry a copy of their reading
  • ​Backing the entire ceremony up to the internet, to be available in case I’m ill, in an accident etc. for another person to deliver

For Funerals at Venues (other than chapels or gravesides), I will also: 

 

  • Complete  one or two site visits to plan the choreography of the entire event including discussing plans with any caterers and outside staff to organise all seating
  • Arrive at least an hour early to check all preparations
  • ​Do a check of sound / PA equipment – including sound checks for my speaking voice
  • Respond quickly to potential unseen problems and adjust the service accordingly.
Thank you so much for all your help and support over the last few weeks. Someone at the service was so shocked to learn you had never met my Nanny and so that just goes to show how much you were able to capture her and all she stood for. For that I am eternally grateful. - Thank you for everything! Kirstie W.

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What Would You Like to Know About?

Transitions Mentoring

Transitions include the pain, grief and confusion of a lost relationship, a lost known, a death; facing your own vulnerability and so much more.

You have resources and resilience to deal with these issues, though they need marshalling to get you through.

A Solution:

Choose a service that enables you to dip into and deal with your life changes, transitions, bereavements, turmoils and confusions. Do this and you’ll attain incredibly powerful results and clarity click here

Midlife

Midlife, from 35 – 65, is a pincer time. You become aware of your aging and mortality; and the complexities of aging parents, children, relationships and dying, death and grief.

By midlife, you’re expected to have the answers to everything life throws your way. However, your emotions, your sense of sanity and your ability to cope are hindered by your losses and heartbreaks.

A Solution:

Holistic Midlifer Life-Changing Packages are bespoke services, personalised to you and your needs.
You choose the options for your needs: herbal medicine, personalised mentoring and care to explore and find your own sense of well-being click here

End of Life & Living Funerals

Each experience of end of life is totally individual, independent and unique. For those hale in mind, yet frail of body, this can provide an ideal opportunity to celebrate with your loved ones. To lift a glass and to laugh, cry, reminisce, touch, hug, to have one last dance.

A Solution:

Living funerals or “awake wakes” are special, well-held spaces for you to be in the company of friends and family, making memories; sharing love and remembering the beauty of life, even as life is fading. You celebrate your life together unrestricted by chapel times and death getting in the way click here

Dealing with Death

The one thing we know for sure at death is that the person we knew is no more. And, it’s losing that personality that makes for such a difficult time. We can no longer love them the way we did; their hands are cold, their heart no longer beats. There is silence where once there was vibrant energy.

With death comes taboos – don’t discuss it; it may be contagious; ignore it; fear it; don’t acknowledge it, that way death can’t overwhelm you.

The old customs encourage not talking about the painful, frightening things of life, and there are no rules of how you “should” deal with your feelings and pain, though many people may tell you how to, ought or should fix your mind, thoughts and feelings.

How would you like to feel? Liberated, released from the darkness of the pain?

A Solution:
Regain perspective of your life by airing what you’re thinking and feeling with a person detached from the rest of your world. From this, you can release emotions bottled up, whilst you feel cared and safe. Click here

Funerals

Death has many, often sombre, formalised rituals and traditions that don’t suit everyone. The landscape of funerals is moving towards personalised services the life of the person who has died, and the needs of the people saying goodbye to them.

Modern choices include rituals that are either secular or non-religious, some with spirituality included, some no elements of spirituality or religion at all.

A Solution:

You may need a completely different experience from the established way of doing a funeral. If that is true, create and design a funeral you’ll cherish and value; work with a professional and get just what you need click here

Grief & Bereavement

How you deal with grief and bereavement is very individual. They in your life whenever any loss happens, not just because of death e.g. at the end of a friendship, relationship; a career or job role; retirement; moving home; a health crisis, to name a few.

One description of grief is “heartbreak”, an experience of devastating, one that can influence a lifetime, to become so ingrained it’s invisible.

How you respond to these knocks of life and death depends on your resilience and perspective.

A Solution:
When you gain a fresh perspective, you arrive at a place you can deal with something that traps you, is released. Click here

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